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What Maya Taught Me

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Yesterday, many of us read the news of Maya Angelou’s passing. I’ve refrained from using the word ‘sad’ because of my belief in the afterlife. Also believing in that idea that Maya will guide and inspire us from her place in heaven.

Although not here in the physical form, it is her words that will live on. So, she will continue to live on; in our hearts and in spirit.

Maya has inspired many, myself include, with her words through poetry. I recall being introduced to poetry after reading one of her poems at school. Up until then I’d found poetry boring. I didn’t really get it. Just a mix, a jumble of words put together in a way that has no real meaning. But Maya’s poetry was different. Somehow it made sense. The words took on a whole new meaning.

Listening to her words as I read each poem, I learnt the value of looking beyond the surface and going beyond what I see/hear. The value of listening to each word. Listening with my heart, nor just my ears. It was then that meaning, hidden truth and wisdom emerged. Words had suddenly taken on a whole new meaning as I understood the beauty and power they could awaken. This was the beginning of my love affair with the written word. Although, it wasn’t until later in life that it all settled within me, making perfect, beautiful and complete sense.

So, I will leave you with my favourite quote from Maya. It strikes a cord with me for many reasons, sometimes these change depending on the situation or where I am at in my life. Today, it has meaning to me because although I cannot remember the words of the poem I read that day in school I have not forgotten how she (the poem and the words) made me feel.

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3 Reasons Why We All Need to Have Healthy Boundaries in Love

 

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You have met Mr or Mrs Right. For the first few weeks things are going swimmingly well. Ok, there are a few little niggles but you let it slide. Why? Well, it is early days and you do not want to ruin this perfect bubble of romantic bliss. But as the weeks progress, you both settle into the relationship. Those “little niggles” that you let slide have now become big niggles and they are really upsetting you. Where did it all go wrong? The answer is simple: You did not stick to your love boundaries.

It’s likely that many of you have not yet begun to consider what your boundaries are in love, believing the age-old saying “love has no boundaries”. There may be a variety of other reasons why you may not have set your boundaries in love, the most common being that: “He/She will think that I am bossy or controlling.” Setting boundaries is not about being bossy or controlling. But it is about empowering yourself, modelling to the other person how it is that you would like to be treated. In this light setting your own personal boundaries can be one of your most valuable assets in your relationship.

To understand the importance of love boundaries it may be helpful to consider the following scenario. Let’s say you are going on your first date with Mr or Mrs Right. They are late to meet you, leaving you waiting in the cold and rain. You tell them off in a jokey way, not wanting to ruin the evening. But by date 3 he/she is still leaving you waiting and before you know it you are 6 months into the relationship and still waiting. This time you are waiting for he or she to decide if they are ready to commit to a long-term relationship with you.

Before long you are making excuses for their behaviour until it all becomes too much and you decide to call it a day. You move on to the next one, but somehow history seems to repeat itself. They too leave you waiting; waiting by the phone for them to call, waiting for them to make a decision about they want……. STOP! What you have here is a relationship habit; A habit that you will keep repeating until you take responsibility and start setting clear boundaries for your romantic partnerships.

The good news is that relationship habits, those scenarios that you keep finding yourself in, are the best place to start when beginning the process of setting relationship boundaries. In identifying them you have to be honest and take a reflective look at past romantic partnerships to see where it has all gone wrong in the past. Being able to do this requires courage but once you have done it, you empower yourself to take responsibility for your actions, happiness and relationships. In doing this you also begin to recognize and accept that YOU are responsible for your happiness, nobody else. You begin to realize that you do not have to put up with any old rubbish and that you deserve to be happy in love.

Having boundaries is the easy bit. Sticking to your boundaries; well, that’s the hard bit and believe me once you have told the Universe what your boundaries are they will send potential partners, to test those boundaries. To test YOU! With this in mind it is important that you stick to those boundaries. No excuses about the other person being the first amazing guy/woman that you have met in ages. There is no time for excuses when setting and working within your own set of personal love boundaries. You have got to stick to the boundaries! Here are 3 reasons why it’s important to have boundaries and stick to them:

It creates balance in your relationship When you let your boundaries slip you are effectively allowing yourself to dance to the other person’s tune. You are doing things to keep the other person happy at the expense of your own happiness. Is this a balanced relationship? No, it’s not! It’s an unbalanced relationship with the spotlight firmly centred upon the happiness of one person and it’s not you. When you have boundaries you give balance to your relationship allowing both parties to enjoy the relationship as you both get what you want from one another.

You show the other person how you deserve to be treated All too often us women think that the man knows how we want to be treated and, if he doesn’t, then he bloody well should. But that’s not the case because one size fits all relationships don’t exist. We are all different. What works for one woman is a distraction and annoyance for another. When we have boundaries and learn to say ‘No!’ we send a clear message about what we will and will not put up with. In doing this we are showing the other person how it is we want and deserve to be treated.

It’s empowering When you know what you want and refuse to settle for anything less you feel empowered. What happens when you feel empowered? Well, you feel great and that energy radiates outward, touching every person you come into contact with. It is when you are in this state of mind and powerful place in your life that you attract great things and people into your life. Under the law of attraction: like attracts like. Positive, happy and loving people want to be around people who resonate at the same energy level. It is this type of partner and relationship that you want in your life, something very much unlike what you have had before.

In essence, setting personal boundaries in love is like running your own VIP club. There are certain boundaries that cannot be crossed and it’s up to you to eject those that choose to cross your boundaries.

At first setting boundaries in love is tricky. People who used to throw themselves at you, now begin backing off. As they back off you begin to feel as if may be this boundary setting isn’t all it is cracked up to be. It is often at this time that you may want to throw in the towel and revert to your old ways: Don’t do it! Instead persevere, safe in the knowledge that those who back away were not ready to enter your space and be part of your VIP club.

Before long the positive feelings begin to outweigh the negative and you’re likely to experience increased feelings of:

Upliftment

Achievement

Self-love

Love

Fulfilment

Happiness

Freedom

Peace

These positive feelings will radiate from you out to the Universe and you’ll find yourself attracting more of the same. You just got to be prepared to go through that icky, uncomfortable period first.

Although, boundaries in love are important you should remember that setting boundaries in other areas of lives is really important to. This could be with your friendships, family life or workplace. Each of these relationships are important and can have a positive or negative impact on our wellbeing, on a spiritual, emotional and physical level. So, get clear about how you want to be treated and start setting those boundaries.

 

This article has been adapted slightly from my original article, which can be read on the OM Times website.  Click here to read the original article.

Cleanse and clear meditation

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There are times in all of our lives where we feel stressed, anxious and tired. Before discovering meditation I world have a melt down, turn to shopping, partying or boozing with my mates to numb myself from these negative feelings. For a moment I would experience peace, joy and contentment but these moments would fade quickly. It would be at these times that I would turn to prayer, which created space for me to cry and have a real outlet for the feelings that I’d been hiding from. However, I often felt I couldn’t “hear” the guidance from God and the Divine energies around me. This was until I discovered meditation.

Prayer was my outlet. My release. My petition to God but what I needed was to hear that guidance. Meditation enabled that to happen. Through meditation I gained quiet time. A time I could distance myself from the clutter in my mind, allowing what wasn’t immediately needed to simply filter through and out of me. This made space for the quiet whispering from God and the Divine energies to come through. It was here that true clarity, peace and insight came about.

It works for me but that isn’t to say it’s for everyone. However, I am happy to share with you a meditation I have used to cleanse and clear. Please feel free to comment and share this with others. However in doing so I ask that you reference it back to me on this blog page. Enjoy.

 The meditation

  • Take a few deep breaths. In through your nose and out through your mouth. You could do this in cycles of four and repeat three times. Eg: Inhale for four seconds, exhale for four seconds. Repeat this three times. This should help you to begin to feel calm and relax. I always affirm that I am a channel for love and light, for my protection.
  • Visualise a bright light above your head. The light from the Creator bask in this light for a moment or two. Feeling its warmth on your body.
  • See the light come down, pass through your crown and chakra. As it does so it cleanses and clears any dark energy. You may feel some emotions or have thoughts at this time. Allow them to come and go without judgement. It may be these are things that need to he released.
  • As the light comes down to your feet see it go down, down and down into Mother Earth’s core, taking with it any dark energy picked up in your auric field. Allow Mother Earth to transmute and recycle this without judgement.
  • Enjoy the feeling for as long as feelings necessary. Before allowing the light to rise up again through your body back up to the creator. Watch this light fade away but know that you can access it anytime. Rest assured that the light of the creator is present within you too.

I also meditate with crystals too. If you would like details about the crystals I use for different areas of my life please leave a comment below and I shall endeavour to respond as quickly as I can.

When fashion and spirituality go hand-in-hand

We often think of a spiritual practice as yoga, prayer, meditation, working with crystals/cards or some form of spiritual healing. It’s thought that we can only find peace or deepen our connection to our Higher selves through such practices. But, in my experience, this is not true.

On my journey I have found that each and everyone of the practices mentioned has supported me on my journey. Deepen my connection with God, the Ascended Masters and Angels. Enhancing my relationship with the real me. However, there have also been times on my journey where I have rejected each and everyone of those practices because I had perceived them not to be working. Equally there have been times when I have worked with these practices too much, moving away from other pastimes that would have served the same purpose or better.

Finding a balance when walking my spiritual path has been crucial in:

Staying on my path
Not rejecting it
Keeping grounded

In the early stages I would become frustrated that all of the healing work, prayers or meditation were “not working anymore”. Finding it hard to recognise or accept that the perceived obstacles, blocks, challenges and hurdles were part of the journey too. That they were opportunities for growth. In my frustration I would reject my spiritual practices. Only to come up back to them later on.

Over time I realised that there was a need to find balance. All the answers, all of the peace and love was not solely in that spiritual book or on that yoga mat. They were also in those hobbies and pastimes that are not so typically spiritual. I found that I could find peace and love in dance class, going to the cinema or in the dressing room at Topshop Sometimes I didn’t even have to buy that new dress because trying it on was enough. Being in that moment of feeling and looking a million dollars was enough. That moment would reignite within me something that I thought I’d lost but that was only hidden temporarily. What these pastimes did (and continue to do) was illuminate the real me, highlighting other hidden diamonds that had previously been buried within.

Having those pastimes I enjoyed outside of my spiritual practice further supported my connection to my Higher self. They also brought me inner peace, especially on those days where it wasn’t practical to get out my yoga mat or use my tarot/angel cards. These pastimes also kept me grounded in the “real world” as everyone knows it. For me that’s what spirituality has to be about. It has to be about living in the real world too, rather than floating on a spiritual bubble.

It’s tempting to live in a spiritual bubble. Although I lived there for a little while and I grew to hate it because it wasn’t all of who I am. Part of me loves the “real world” with the fashion, the dance classes and romantic movies. Rejecting these in favour of my more “spiritual” practices didn’t work for me. Participating in typical spiritual practices only, worked for a lot of the spiritual people I encountered on my journey but, not for me. That didn’t mean that I was (or am) less spiritual or that they were (or are) more so. It just means that we all found what works for us. Our own balance and that is just right.

It’s all about change

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Many times when we are in a difficult or uncomfortable situation we focus on the negative. All those things that we don’t like about the situation or person flood our minds. We can list all the reasons that we don’t like it or them. Then we wonder why we are attract more of the same.

You don’t need me to tell you the laws of attraction. You know that like attracts like, regardless of it being positive or negative thoughts that we put out there, into the Universe. You also know that your thoughts carry energy. Not only does the energy carry outwards it also resides within.

Your negative thoughts regarding the situation or person become your dominant energy within you. Carrying around this negativity can leave you feeling:

Drained
Tired
Angry
Jealous
Resentful
Stagnated

The action that result from this often include:

Procrastination

Bitching / arguing

Taking a job just for the sake of it or just for the money

Overspending

Addiction

Do any of these feelings or actions resonate with you at this moment?

In my own experience I have found that what is required is more light. When there is light in a dark situation you see clearly, when you see clearly you can navigate toward the outcome that is for the Highest good. But this all begin with you. You have to change.

Changes requires conscious awareness. You need to be aware of your thoughts, feelings, words and actions. For me, the most important of these are thoughts and feelings, as I usually find that they determine my words and actions. Therefore, when I change my thoughts my feelings change. When I master the two I worry less about my words and actions being negative because when my thoughts and feelings come from a place of love and light so do my words and actions.

There will be times when others will misinterpret my words and actions. I’m sure this has happened to you too but this is okay. For if it truly is expresses from a place of love and light then your intention was good. However, maybe the other person was not in a place where they were ready to receive this. My advice: Don’t take it personally. Keep breathing love and light into the situation. But, I digress.

You may be in a job you have outgrown, a relationship which no longer fits or work with a whinging boss and you want out. You may feel there’s no way out but there is and it begins with you. Start thinking about the things that you can change that will bring a feeling of peace and serenity. For example, instead of thinking about what you hate about your job start thinking about the skills you’ve gained, the insights and experiences you can use in your next role. Rather than lamenting the possible end of your relationship think about the ways in which you’ve grown and the lessons you’ve learnt.

In essence it’s about changing your perspective on the situation and the person, rather than changing the situation or the person. Often I have found that the situation seems less bleak or the person, less annoying, because I am at peace from within. It is from this place of peace that I can hear the quiet whispers of the energies around me, guiding me towards what I ultimate desire. From this place I make better decisions, I see more opportunities and I am received better by other people. All in all, taking the action of action brings me in alignment with what I want. Bringing it closer, not further away.

So what are you going to change? Have you got a story about changing your thoughts and focus that you’d like to share? Do you have any tips that might help someone else? If you feel moved to share then I’d love to hear from you.

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The Art of Moving On

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We each have developed our own coping mechanisms when it comes to dealing with a break up. Some of us reach for chocolate and bottle of wine, drowning our sorrows whilst watching a movie. Whereas others of us opt for revenge, snooping on our exes Facebook page or sending drunken texts professing our eternal love. In the moment you achieve your desired core feeling of peace, enabling you to forget the pain and him (or her). Once the moment has passed you are left wondering:
• What’s wrong with me?
• Where did it all go wrong?
• Why did he/she screw me over?
• When will he/she apologise?
• How could I have been so stupid?

Sound familiar? Of course, it does because we have all been there and know that break-ups suck. No matter how many times you experience a break-up it always hurts, there’s no getting away from that fact. But how long you have to live with that hurt is entirely up to you. You can dwell on the past and in the pain or you can heal your way out of it.

What am I really hurt about?
When you break up with someone there is an overwhelming feeling of hurt. In my case I felt hurt that he’d rejected me. Hurt that I’d allowed myself to be vulnerable. All this hurt brought up one feeling: Fear.

I realised when I broke up with my last ex that the hurt I felt had a lot to do with my fears. My fears of:
• Being single again
• Going back on the dating scene
• Not finding and being with the one
• Not being enough
However, in the moment I thought that I was hurt because I had lost love and the love of my life. In reality, this was not the case.

What I didn’t see at the time was that love cannot be lostbecause it is within and all around me. Nor could I see that I hadn’t lost the love of my life. I was and still I am the love of my life. God is the love of my life. However, in that relationship I had, unwittingly, put my ex first. In doing so I had placed all of my hopes, dreams and happiness on him. Inadvertently putting pressure on him and the relationship to live up to my high ideals. Therefore, any hint of a problem caused me to fret and over analyse. Building a mountain out of a mole hill because my happiness was being threatened. In hindsight I see that I was never truly at ease in that relationship or any other. The foundations were built with bricks of fear not love. When it all came crashing down all I was left with were my fears. Fears that I had tried to suppress with and in that relationship. This is was it was necessary to consider, at the end of the relationship, what I was really hurt about.

Lessons to be learnt: What role did I play?
He and I had broken up many times before. In between I’d dated other people and before him I’d had one other relationship. For someone reason, my relationships all went the same way. I would always blame the other person. It was easier to see their faults rather than my own. Friends and family would rally around to help me with this mammoth task of tearing him to pieces. But I recall this break up with this particular ex feeling very final. What I couldn’t have known at the time was that a major shift was about to happen. A shift that changed my life forever. I’ll tell you all about that another time.

During this time one question kept coming back to me: What part did you play? Never before had I taken the time to put myself in the hot seat. Never before had I ever considered that I was in some way to blame. In the past I’d always seen the other person’s faults. It’s no surprise that each of my partners had the same fault and exhibited very similar traits. A definite pattern was occurring in each of my relationships.

Now, before I continue, it’s important to say that it’s easy to get stuck in this phase of blaming yourself. However, this isn’t what this stage us about. Instead it’s an opportunity for you to shine light on your own shadow side, using this to enable you to clean up your side of the street. Ultimately, leading you to a place where you:

  • Acknowledge any patterns in behaviour
  • Identify the lessons to be learnt from the relationship
  • Learn the lesson
  • Grow and move on
  • Live and enjoy your life

If I am honest this took me to a dark place. It was definitely not easy to acknowledge my own shadows. However, I had a real knowing that it was necessary to go to this place. The fact that I’d hit rock bottom before and rose again, like a phoenix from the ashes, gave me strength. Encouraging me to believe that the only way would now be up and I’d come out the other end. In truth that is the beauty of falling down: The only way is up.

Be kind
When I found myself in that dark place it was especially important that I was kind to myself. Wallowing in my darkness seemed like an easy and strangely attractive option at the time. However, as divine timing would have it I had booked myself into a dance class prior to the break up. In addition to this I had begun writing again and felt drawn to signing up for a Reiki healing course. All of these were perfect distractions from my dark place, giving me the time and space to focus on myself.

Having this time to myself, to enjoy and delve into my passions brought with it many blessings, including:

  • Re-establishing my own identity outside of the relationship
  • Connecting with the essence of who I am
  • Falling in love with life and me again
  • Shifting my perspective
  • Forgetting the past
  • Remembering what peace feels, looks and sounds like

Healing time with the Angels
For me it was learning Angelic Reiki that truly made the difference. I’ll share the whole story at a different time. But it was the healing I received that gave me real insight into the root cause of problems, taking me right back to a past life with that particular ex. This enabled me to see that we had a soul mate connection and understand why certain patterns were being repeated. The healing itself was something I practised regularly after the course. I found it to be very calming and relaxing as well as comforting. It was a time reserved just for me that enabled me to connect to Angels, Ascended Masters, God and myself. In the quiet stillness I received nuggets of guidance, inspiration and a whole lot of clarity. All of which enabled me to heal from that relationship and gradually move on.

Healing can take many forms. Angelic Reiki and crystals worked for me but dancing, prayer, meditation, kundalini yoga or tapping may work for you. Either way it’s all about shifting that energy. Energy that has become stuck, causing a block that leaves you feeling unable to move forward. If you are not practising shifting the energy or dissolving the energetic cords on a regular basis you get a build-up of stagnant energy. The bigger the build-up the bigger the block and the more clearing you need to do. It can be a slow process as you shed the layers of hurt and pain, as I did, but it will be well worth it in the end. You’ll end up stronger, wiser and happier for it.

Love is a heros journeyMoving on from a relationship with someone you have had a strong connection is painful but it’s not impossible.  What I’ve learnt is that each relationship provides an opportunity for growth. An opportunity to shed old ways of being, seeing and feeling that no longer serve my highest good. Whilst in a relationship it’s inevitable that I will play many roles. Sometimes I will be called upon to play the role of the teacher. Whilst at other times I’ll be called upon to play the role of the student or mother. Whatever my role it is clear to me that relationships facilitate growth and life lessons.  They are a place where my deepest wounds will be laid bare before, not only my eyes but the eyes of my partner too. This is beautiful and perfect so long as I make room for this process to happen.

A lesson learnt

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As my manager walked into the room a feeling of dread washed over me. I hadn’t done anything wrong and it wasn’t that I disliked her as a person. It was just that her energy didn’t resonate with me and hadn’t been resonating for a long time.  This was largely due to the fact that she had been feeling isolated, drained, stressed and fearful about a whole host of things on the work-front.  Therefore, her energy had been very much routed in fear and every time she walked in a room I, literally felt her energy!

I listened as she and a colleague moaned about the perils of our working environment. I listened as they lamented over the toll that it was having on their body.  Suddenly, all eyes were on me, as they waited to hear if I was feeling the same way.  Fortunately for me I didn’t feel the same way.  Taking time out for daily meditation, mixed with Angelic Reiki self-healing, prayer and a healthy dose of sleep were helping me to fight off the chronic exhaustion that was plaguing our working environment. Openly, I shared that I didn’t feel the same way.  Silence followed my declaration.  Despite not making eye contact with either party I felt a rush of energy hurtling towards me from my manager, attaching itself like a little patch of heat.  My manager wasn’t impressed and didn’t want to hear that I felt fine.  She wasn’t going to let me know this verbally but, energetically, her annoyance was felt.  Silently I returned to my magazine.  But the damage and energy exchange had already begun.

In the moment’s that followed my manager’s mood changed, as did mine.  My manager seemed calmer, happier and more at peace.  Whereas, I felt lethargic, annoyed and isolated for the rest of the day. However, in hindsight this situation taught me a few things about energy, protecting my energy and how to effectively handle negative people/situations. So, in no particular order, here are my top 5 lessons:

Protection
As a sensitive I know about protection and the importance of protecting my energy. However, back then I didn’t practise this as often as I should have. I was very good at meditating regularly, praying each day and giving myself occasional Angelic Reiki self-healing.  But having cleared the lower energy and raised my vibration I would find that I would attract energy vampires who were drawn to my light. Unbeknown to them energetic transfers would take place between them, leading me to take on their negative energy as if it were my own.

As a light worker there was not and still isn’t any real need for this to be happening as often as it was. Therefore, in response to this I now protect my energy on a daily basis.  Doing so, by calling on my beloved Archangel Michael.  Inviting him to cover me with his blue cloak of protection and protect me from all forms of lower forms of energy.  Other methods I use include activating my bubble of protection and energy mirrors.  All of these methods support me in staying grounded and not absorbing the negative and lower energy of others.

Awareness 
I can feel exchanges of energy and know when an energetic exchange has occurred. This is something that I now use and work with to my advantage, rather than allowing the ego to step in and leading me further into the negativity by indulging in self-pity, anger, gossip or judging others. We all have the capacity to be more aware of the energetic changes that are going on around us and within all the time.  A daily meditation practise and regular Angelic Reiki healing enables me to clear my energy.  In doing so I can feel the difference when in the company of energy vampires and use this knowledge to make a choice to respond with my ego or my Higher self. 

Choice
A Course of Miracles teaches us that in any situation you can choose love or fear. You can’t choose both and only one is real. In my scenario you can see that I’m aware of the energetic exchange. From that place of awareness I chose to respond from a place of fear rather than love. In adopting that fearful response I took on all of the negative feelings that weren’t mine. Negative feelings that didn’t exist before the energetic exchange. It is only in hindsight that I responded from a place of love but how different that moment, that day could have been if I’d chosen love. Now, when faced with a similar situation I try to make that choice to respond from a place of love by simply affirming: “That energy is not mine. I choose love over fear. Only love is real. And so it is.”

Agree

I recall a time when I worked with someone who wasn’t very nice to me. At the time I asked a really successful friend for some advice on how to deal with her and his response was: “Agree with her”.  This sounded crazy but he explained that by doing this I made her feel good which allowed me to get on with my job with no drama. So on Monday morning I tried this with my then colleague and it worked a treat. Sadly, I didn’t adopt this strategy with my manager at that time but I do try to adopt this strategy when dealing with negative people.

Also, in thinking back to this scenario I was taken back to a vlog by Gabrielle Bernstein where she talks about using a similar strategy when dealing with negative people.  You can check it out here.

Looking back on the scenario I see that my manager was looking for someone to wallow with her. She wasn’t looking for positivity or a solution. All she wanted was a sounding board and someone to listen. She wasn’t ready for solutions, opinions especially not those of a spiritual kind.

Therefore, I learnt that in scenarios where negativity seems to prevail my best response can often be to agree in an empathetic way:  “I can imagine you are tired.” “Yes, I can see how stressed this must be making you feel. I don’t know how you do it.”

Forgiveness

Much of the time I found that the vast majority of negative people that I have encountered had no idea that they were energetically draining. Therefore, it was important for me to recognise that they were not draining me on purpose.  Therefore, forgiving the other person and myself, especially in situations that left me feeling sad or angry.  In doing so I was taking steps to release the situation, the other person and myself.  This ensured that the situation and person no longer had power over me.  Thus allowing me to continue on my path in peace and love.

Ultimately, I’ve learnt that I am only responsible for my own peace, thoughts and actions. I’m fortunate enough to have and know the tools that are at my disposal to enable me to do this. All I need to do is use them. This requires a conscious effort but it will all be worth it in the end.

How do you handle working with or being around negative people? What tips can you share to protect your energy? Share your tips here. Maybe you need some advice on how to maintain your peace in negative situations. If that’s you, then feel free to post your question in the comment box below.

Forgiveness. The BIG F-word.

When I was first guided to write about forgiveness it was going to be a retrospective. Looking back at what I had learnt about forgiveness. But that all changed when my male neighbour decided to verbally abuse me and intimidate me on my own doorstep. The experience gave the topic a whole new spin.

I’m pretty streetwise so when push comes to shove I will speak up for myself, even against a big man. Despite this the whole experience of being verbally abused and deliberately intimidated left me worried and anxious, not to mention angry. Anxious and worried about my safety. Angry that a man, twice my age and size thinks it’s ok to treat me, a woman with such disdain.

However as worried, anxious and angry as I was I felt guided to make a specific choice and perform a specific action.

My choice was to be open to releasing the situation to God and forgiving this man. And the action? That was to pray for him and his family. The choice and action seemed natural to me. It came with no resistance from me. Pretty strange when I consider that I was that woman who would hold grudges and happily throw it all in your face in the heat of the moment. So what’s changed? I guess I’ve changed. Having chosen to really explore my spiritual side, through practising Angelic Reiki, I have come to heal, understand myself and the crazy workings of the universe at a deeper level. That doesn’t make me an angel who always gets it right but in this situation I’m learning to practise what I preach, what I’ve learnt and what I’m learning.

So here are the top 5 things that I have learnt about forgiveness:

  1. It’s a choice. You can either walk around carrying all of this anger, bitterness and resentment inside you or you can let it go. In letting it go you are choosing the path of forgiveness.
  2. The universe/God knows it isn’t an easy choice. Because of this they ease us in gently by allowing us to declare that we are sincerely open and ready to forgive the person who’s hurt us. When you open your heart to forgiving you open the door to love and close the door to fear.
  3. Forgiveness = blessings. Blessings occur from a place of love. The capacity to love is harder when the heart is closed and mind is trapped in fear. By choosing to forgive you are showing the universe/God that you are ready for blessings and for it/Him to replace what they have taken with something better.
  4. Law of compensation is already at work. From the moment that person takes from you something that doesn’t belong to them the universe/God is ready to compensate you. This is the Divine law of compensation. Therefore when we hold onto those negative thoughts and feelings we are, affectively, deactivating the Divine law of compensation.  However, when we choose love and forgiveness we are activating this law, allowing the Universe to improve the situation.  Simultaneously we surrender the situation to God, doing so in complete faith that he will take care of us and everything else.
  5. Make way for peace.  Once you have surrendered your thoughts, anger and fear to God you feel an overwhelming feeling of peace.  With that peace one of two things happens; you no longer care what the other person has to say or the other person changes their attitude toward you.  Either way, peace resides within you because you are not carrying this heavy burden of negativity.  With peace comes love, leaving room for the blessings to arrive and your situation to improve.

Ultimately, the choice to forgive doesn’t always come naturally in the same way that it did in my situation.  However, what I do know is that by practising forgiveness you release the weight of all that negativity that you carry around in your heart.  Releasing it all brings such a sense of relief.  After all, it is not you who has inflicted the pain so why should you continue to suffer for it?

In my own practise I am saying a prayer of forgiveness each day and will continue to do this for 30 days.  So, in light of this, I am inviting you to join me in a 30 day prayer of forgiveness.  All you have to do is commit to saying a prayer of forgiveness to the other person.  It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, you a short prayer where you declare that you forgive the other person and wish them well on their onward journey.  For example, my prayer goes a little something like this:

Dear God and Angels.  I declare that I forgive [name of person] for what he/she has said and done. I surrender the situation, my fears and anger to you.  I wish [name of person] well on that person and extend my love towards them.  I know that my family and I are safe and that you are protecting and guiding me in love always.  And so it is!

Obviously, you can use your own words if you would prefer.  It’s all about what resonates with you.  And, if at first, you find it difficult to forgive then you can always call on God/Angels or whoever you believe in to guide you, give you strength or whatever you feel that you need to get to that point of forgiveness.  Trust me, you will get there.  I have forgiven people who have really hurt me and know others who have forgiven people who have abused them.  So, I know that it is possible to forgive.

Have you ever forgiven someone who has hurt you? How did you do it? Feel free to share your story here if you feel drawn to.  Your experience and advice could be exactly the tonic that somebody else needs in that moment.