fear

A lesson learnt

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As my manager walked into the room a feeling of dread washed over me. I hadn’t done anything wrong and it wasn’t that I disliked her as a person. It was just that her energy didn’t resonate with me and hadn’t been resonating for a long time.  This was largely due to the fact that she had been feeling isolated, drained, stressed and fearful about a whole host of things on the work-front.  Therefore, her energy had been very much routed in fear and every time she walked in a room I, literally felt her energy!

I listened as she and a colleague moaned about the perils of our working environment. I listened as they lamented over the toll that it was having on their body.  Suddenly, all eyes were on me, as they waited to hear if I was feeling the same way.  Fortunately for me I didn’t feel the same way.  Taking time out for daily meditation, mixed with Angelic Reiki self-healing, prayer and a healthy dose of sleep were helping me to fight off the chronic exhaustion that was plaguing our working environment. Openly, I shared that I didn’t feel the same way.  Silence followed my declaration.  Despite not making eye contact with either party I felt a rush of energy hurtling towards me from my manager, attaching itself like a little patch of heat.  My manager wasn’t impressed and didn’t want to hear that I felt fine.  She wasn’t going to let me know this verbally but, energetically, her annoyance was felt.  Silently I returned to my magazine.  But the damage and energy exchange had already begun.

In the moment’s that followed my manager’s mood changed, as did mine.  My manager seemed calmer, happier and more at peace.  Whereas, I felt lethargic, annoyed and isolated for the rest of the day. However, in hindsight this situation taught me a few things about energy, protecting my energy and how to effectively handle negative people/situations. So, in no particular order, here are my top 5 lessons:

Protection
As a sensitive I know about protection and the importance of protecting my energy. However, back then I didn’t practise this as often as I should have. I was very good at meditating regularly, praying each day and giving myself occasional Angelic Reiki self-healing.  But having cleared the lower energy and raised my vibration I would find that I would attract energy vampires who were drawn to my light. Unbeknown to them energetic transfers would take place between them, leading me to take on their negative energy as if it were my own.

As a light worker there was not and still isn’t any real need for this to be happening as often as it was. Therefore, in response to this I now protect my energy on a daily basis.  Doing so, by calling on my beloved Archangel Michael.  Inviting him to cover me with his blue cloak of protection and protect me from all forms of lower forms of energy.  Other methods I use include activating my bubble of protection and energy mirrors.  All of these methods support me in staying grounded and not absorbing the negative and lower energy of others.

Awareness 
I can feel exchanges of energy and know when an energetic exchange has occurred. This is something that I now use and work with to my advantage, rather than allowing the ego to step in and leading me further into the negativity by indulging in self-pity, anger, gossip or judging others. We all have the capacity to be more aware of the energetic changes that are going on around us and within all the time.  A daily meditation practise and regular Angelic Reiki healing enables me to clear my energy.  In doing so I can feel the difference when in the company of energy vampires and use this knowledge to make a choice to respond with my ego or my Higher self. 

Choice
A Course of Miracles teaches us that in any situation you can choose love or fear. You can’t choose both and only one is real. In my scenario you can see that I’m aware of the energetic exchange. From that place of awareness I chose to respond from a place of fear rather than love. In adopting that fearful response I took on all of the negative feelings that weren’t mine. Negative feelings that didn’t exist before the energetic exchange. It is only in hindsight that I responded from a place of love but how different that moment, that day could have been if I’d chosen love. Now, when faced with a similar situation I try to make that choice to respond from a place of love by simply affirming: “That energy is not mine. I choose love over fear. Only love is real. And so it is.”

Agree

I recall a time when I worked with someone who wasn’t very nice to me. At the time I asked a really successful friend for some advice on how to deal with her and his response was: “Agree with her”.  This sounded crazy but he explained that by doing this I made her feel good which allowed me to get on with my job with no drama. So on Monday morning I tried this with my then colleague and it worked a treat. Sadly, I didn’t adopt this strategy with my manager at that time but I do try to adopt this strategy when dealing with negative people.

Also, in thinking back to this scenario I was taken back to a vlog by Gabrielle Bernstein where she talks about using a similar strategy when dealing with negative people.  You can check it out here.

Looking back on the scenario I see that my manager was looking for someone to wallow with her. She wasn’t looking for positivity or a solution. All she wanted was a sounding board and someone to listen. She wasn’t ready for solutions, opinions especially not those of a spiritual kind.

Therefore, I learnt that in scenarios where negativity seems to prevail my best response can often be to agree in an empathetic way:  “I can imagine you are tired.” “Yes, I can see how stressed this must be making you feel. I don’t know how you do it.”

Forgiveness

Much of the time I found that the vast majority of negative people that I have encountered had no idea that they were energetically draining. Therefore, it was important for me to recognise that they were not draining me on purpose.  Therefore, forgiving the other person and myself, especially in situations that left me feeling sad or angry.  In doing so I was taking steps to release the situation, the other person and myself.  This ensured that the situation and person no longer had power over me.  Thus allowing me to continue on my path in peace and love.

Ultimately, I’ve learnt that I am only responsible for my own peace, thoughts and actions. I’m fortunate enough to have and know the tools that are at my disposal to enable me to do this. All I need to do is use them. This requires a conscious effort but it will all be worth it in the end.

How do you handle working with or being around negative people? What tips can you share to protect your energy? Share your tips here. Maybe you need some advice on how to maintain your peace in negative situations. If that’s you, then feel free to post your question in the comment box below.

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Forgiveness. The BIG F-word.

When I was first guided to write about forgiveness it was going to be a retrospective. Looking back at what I had learnt about forgiveness. But that all changed when my male neighbour decided to verbally abuse me and intimidate me on my own doorstep. The experience gave the topic a whole new spin.

I’m pretty streetwise so when push comes to shove I will speak up for myself, even against a big man. Despite this the whole experience of being verbally abused and deliberately intimidated left me worried and anxious, not to mention angry. Anxious and worried about my safety. Angry that a man, twice my age and size thinks it’s ok to treat me, a woman with such disdain.

However as worried, anxious and angry as I was I felt guided to make a specific choice and perform a specific action.

My choice was to be open to releasing the situation to God and forgiving this man. And the action? That was to pray for him and his family. The choice and action seemed natural to me. It came with no resistance from me. Pretty strange when I consider that I was that woman who would hold grudges and happily throw it all in your face in the heat of the moment. So what’s changed? I guess I’ve changed. Having chosen to really explore my spiritual side, through practising Angelic Reiki, I have come to heal, understand myself and the crazy workings of the universe at a deeper level. That doesn’t make me an angel who always gets it right but in this situation I’m learning to practise what I preach, what I’ve learnt and what I’m learning.

So here are the top 5 things that I have learnt about forgiveness:

  1. It’s a choice. You can either walk around carrying all of this anger, bitterness and resentment inside you or you can let it go. In letting it go you are choosing the path of forgiveness.
  2. The universe/God knows it isn’t an easy choice. Because of this they ease us in gently by allowing us to declare that we are sincerely open and ready to forgive the person who’s hurt us. When you open your heart to forgiving you open the door to love and close the door to fear.
  3. Forgiveness = blessings. Blessings occur from a place of love. The capacity to love is harder when the heart is closed and mind is trapped in fear. By choosing to forgive you are showing the universe/God that you are ready for blessings and for it/Him to replace what they have taken with something better.
  4. Law of compensation is already at work. From the moment that person takes from you something that doesn’t belong to them the universe/God is ready to compensate you. This is the Divine law of compensation. Therefore when we hold onto those negative thoughts and feelings we are, affectively, deactivating the Divine law of compensation.  However, when we choose love and forgiveness we are activating this law, allowing the Universe to improve the situation.  Simultaneously we surrender the situation to God, doing so in complete faith that he will take care of us and everything else.
  5. Make way for peace.  Once you have surrendered your thoughts, anger and fear to God you feel an overwhelming feeling of peace.  With that peace one of two things happens; you no longer care what the other person has to say or the other person changes their attitude toward you.  Either way, peace resides within you because you are not carrying this heavy burden of negativity.  With peace comes love, leaving room for the blessings to arrive and your situation to improve.

Ultimately, the choice to forgive doesn’t always come naturally in the same way that it did in my situation.  However, what I do know is that by practising forgiveness you release the weight of all that negativity that you carry around in your heart.  Releasing it all brings such a sense of relief.  After all, it is not you who has inflicted the pain so why should you continue to suffer for it?

In my own practise I am saying a prayer of forgiveness each day and will continue to do this for 30 days.  So, in light of this, I am inviting you to join me in a 30 day prayer of forgiveness.  All you have to do is commit to saying a prayer of forgiveness to the other person.  It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, you a short prayer where you declare that you forgive the other person and wish them well on their onward journey.  For example, my prayer goes a little something like this:

Dear God and Angels.  I declare that I forgive [name of person] for what he/she has said and done. I surrender the situation, my fears and anger to you.  I wish [name of person] well on that person and extend my love towards them.  I know that my family and I are safe and that you are protecting and guiding me in love always.  And so it is!

Obviously, you can use your own words if you would prefer.  It’s all about what resonates with you.  And, if at first, you find it difficult to forgive then you can always call on God/Angels or whoever you believe in to guide you, give you strength or whatever you feel that you need to get to that point of forgiveness.  Trust me, you will get there.  I have forgiven people who have really hurt me and know others who have forgiven people who have abused them.  So, I know that it is possible to forgive.

Have you ever forgiven someone who has hurt you? How did you do it? Feel free to share your story here if you feel drawn to.  Your experience and advice could be exactly the tonic that somebody else needs in that moment.

Just say YES

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Let’s play a game.  The game is called Have you ever? All you need to do is answer “yes” or “no” to the questions.  Easy-peasy, right?  Ok!  So, let’s begin…..

  • Have you ever said no to joining that new dance class?
  • Have you ever said no to asking out that hot guy/girl that you have been admiring from afar?
  • Have you ever said no to dying your hair or having that new, shorter and much sexier hairstyle?
  • Have you ever said no to changing career?

Be honest, how many times have you said “no” to something that you really want to do or experience, only to regret later down the line?  Once? Twice? A hundred times or more?  Me too!

So, many times in life you say “no” when your soul is screaming “YES”.  Your soul knows that the time is right for you to take the plunge.  It knows that the Universe has got your back and is just waiting to give you that feeling, that opportunity that it knows that you deserve.  But, it lets out a huge sigh every time you listen to your ego and say “no”.

Your ego thinks that it is pretty smart.  It thinks that it knows what is best for you.  And it I has no hesitation in telling you about all of the things that could go wrong if you say “yes”.  You know when the ego is speaking to you because it sounds a little like this:

  • “You can’t afford it.”
  • “What if it all goes wrong?”
  • “He/she/they will say “no” and you’ll be rejected.”
  • “You have no rhythm and two left feet.  You will be a laughing stock at dance class.”
  • “It isn’t going to work.”

Then, if it gets the feeling that you are going to say “yes” anyway, it will step things up a gear.  Remember the ego is smart and it will scan your memory bank in search of times when you felt rejected and embarrassed.  Doing so, in order to say “See, you’ve said yes before and look how that turned out”.

Now, for the killer blow.  Your ego is right.  It could all go tits-up.  You probably have said “yes” before only to have been left red-faced or with mud on your face.  But, that is life.  Shit happens.  But when shit happens you learn from it and move on.

You are no longer the person that you were back then when.  Today, you are smarter, wiser and cooler than you were back then.  You listen to the quiet voice of your soul much more than you used to.  You don’t make rash, impulsive choices like you used to either.  By saying “yes” today you are coming from a much different place to the one you resided at back then.

By saying “yes” it is quite possible that things could turn out way better than you could ever have imagined.  It’s possible that you will receive blessings that you have only dreamed of.  You could meet someone or a whole bunch of people who change and rock your world forever!  Wouldn’t it be sad if you missed out on all of this just because you listened to the ego and said “no”?

Don’t get me wrong I am not advocating going wild and quitting your job to do outreach work in Africa.  Nor am I saying that you should be an asshole who just says “yes” for the sake of it, even though you have no intention of following through.  But what, I am saying is that you know when change needs to happen in your life.  You know when you are merely existing, rather than living.  You also know when you are holding yourself back from doing the things that you really want to do.  If the latter is you, then don’t you think it’s time to cut the apron strings from your over-protective ego-self?  Yes, the ego-self serves the purpose of protecting you from pain you may have ever experienced and felt in the past.  However, it’s important to respond to that burning desire for change/to try something new has been put inside you for a reason.  Tbh, it probably will not go away until you say “yes”.

I’ll tell you a little secret: When I started saying “yes” when my ego was saying “no”, uber-cool things started happening in my life.  Don’t get me wrong saying “yes” didn’t come easy.  In fact, it scared the shit out of me.  Why? Because it meant going beyond my comfort zone and being vulnerable.  But, I pushed through it, focusing on what I wanted.  These are just some of the awesome opportunities that I said “yes” to when my ego said “no”:

  • Working as a psychic for the UK’s leading and longest running psychic TV show
  • Training to become (and eventually becoming) an Angelic Reiki healer and teacher.  Training with an amazing teacher at a fraction of the usual price for such a course
  • Featuring in popular spiritual magazines, including OM Times and Spirit & Destiny
  • Defying my critics and the so-called experts and working in industries that I loved

Don’t get me wrong.  I don’t always say “yes” and there are times when I have faced some real challenges after saying “yes”.  Although, it comes as no surprise that when this happened my words and feelings were not in alignment (more on that in another blog post).

Ultimately, what you must remember is that whether you are saying “no” or “yes” the Universe is always listening.  Not only is it listening but it’s also responding and co-creating with you.  All you need to do is decide what you want more of in your life.  More of the same – Say “no” more.  A chance for something more – Say “yes”.  Simple.

Ok, it takes practise but you will get the hang of it.  So, what are you going to say “yes” to today?  Tell me, tell me, tell me, I want to know.  Say “yes” to sharing with me today (if you want to of course).

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