Forgiveness. The BIG F-word.

When I was first guided to write about forgiveness it was going to be a retrospective. Looking back at what I had learnt about forgiveness. But that all changed when my male neighbour decided to verbally abuse me and intimidate me on my own doorstep. The experience gave the topic a whole new spin.

I’m pretty streetwise so when push comes to shove I will speak up for myself, even against a big man. Despite this the whole experience of being verbally abused and deliberately intimidated left me worried and anxious, not to mention angry. Anxious and worried about my safety. Angry that a man, twice my age and size thinks it’s ok to treat me, a woman with such disdain.

However as worried, anxious and angry as I was I felt guided to make a specific choice and perform a specific action.

My choice was to be open to releasing the situation to God and forgiving this man. And the action? That was to pray for him and his family. The choice and action seemed natural to me. It came with no resistance from me. Pretty strange when I consider that I was that woman who would hold grudges and happily throw it all in your face in the heat of the moment. So what’s changed? I guess I’ve changed. Having chosen to really explore my spiritual side, through practising Angelic Reiki, I have come to heal, understand myself and the crazy workings of the universe at a deeper level. That doesn’t make me an angel who always gets it right but in this situation I’m learning to practise what I preach, what I’ve learnt and what I’m learning.

So here are the top 5 things that I have learnt about forgiveness:

  1. It’s a choice. You can either walk around carrying all of this anger, bitterness and resentment inside you or you can let it go. In letting it go you are choosing the path of forgiveness.
  2. The universe/God knows it isn’t an easy choice. Because of this they ease us in gently by allowing us to declare that we are sincerely open and ready to forgive the person who’s hurt us. When you open your heart to forgiving you open the door to love and close the door to fear.
  3. Forgiveness = blessings. Blessings occur from a place of love. The capacity to love is harder when the heart is closed and mind is trapped in fear. By choosing to forgive you are showing the universe/God that you are ready for blessings and for it/Him to replace what they have taken with something better.
  4. Law of compensation is already at work. From the moment that person takes from you something that doesn’t belong to them the universe/God is ready to compensate you. This is the Divine law of compensation. Therefore when we hold onto those negative thoughts and feelings we are, affectively, deactivating the Divine law of compensation.  However, when we choose love and forgiveness we are activating this law, allowing the Universe to improve the situation.  Simultaneously we surrender the situation to God, doing so in complete faith that he will take care of us and everything else.
  5. Make way for peace.  Once you have surrendered your thoughts, anger and fear to God you feel an overwhelming feeling of peace.  With that peace one of two things happens; you no longer care what the other person has to say or the other person changes their attitude toward you.  Either way, peace resides within you because you are not carrying this heavy burden of negativity.  With peace comes love, leaving room for the blessings to arrive and your situation to improve.

Ultimately, the choice to forgive doesn’t always come naturally in the same way that it did in my situation.  However, what I do know is that by practising forgiveness you release the weight of all that negativity that you carry around in your heart.  Releasing it all brings such a sense of relief.  After all, it is not you who has inflicted the pain so why should you continue to suffer for it?

In my own practise I am saying a prayer of forgiveness each day and will continue to do this for 30 days.  So, in light of this, I am inviting you to join me in a 30 day prayer of forgiveness.  All you have to do is commit to saying a prayer of forgiveness to the other person.  It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, you a short prayer where you declare that you forgive the other person and wish them well on their onward journey.  For example, my prayer goes a little something like this:

Dear God and Angels.  I declare that I forgive [name of person] for what he/she has said and done. I surrender the situation, my fears and anger to you.  I wish [name of person] well on that person and extend my love towards them.  I know that my family and I are safe and that you are protecting and guiding me in love always.  And so it is!

Obviously, you can use your own words if you would prefer.  It’s all about what resonates with you.  And, if at first, you find it difficult to forgive then you can always call on God/Angels or whoever you believe in to guide you, give you strength or whatever you feel that you need to get to that point of forgiveness.  Trust me, you will get there.  I have forgiven people who have really hurt me and know others who have forgiven people who have abused them.  So, I know that it is possible to forgive.

Have you ever forgiven someone who has hurt you? How did you do it? Feel free to share your story here if you feel drawn to.  Your experience and advice could be exactly the tonic that somebody else needs in that moment.

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